What Representing Men in Divorce Taught Me About Fatherhood | Marilyn York | TEDxUniversityofNevada

44 thoughts on “What Representing Men in Divorce Taught Me About Fatherhood | Marilyn York | TEDxUniversityofNevada”

1. Whether or not the law creates the opportunity for women to conceal a child from their father/slash knowingly identify the wrong man as the father is morally irrelevant. It's simply nothing but a reiteration of the gender inequalities that exist on both sides, yet feminism would have you believe that not being paid the same as a male colleague should take precedent over the mental well-being of an innocent child. Maybe neither should take precedent? But i do know that whether legally possible or not, the women involved should stop ruining children's lives because of their own double standards.

   Cant wait for all the idiots out there to lash out at this one 😂 bring it 👊

2. My divorce was particularly difficult because my ex-wife is foreign, French to be precise. She encouraged me to move to France, which I agreed to because I thought that was her only intention. For logistical reasons, I had to make several trips back and forth to move our belongings. It was when I was going back that she decided to tell me she wanted a divorce. Long story short, this took place in Houston in 2014 and she was granted a waiver not to appear in court. After 9 years of marriage, she had also replaced me in the six months it took to finalize our divorce. I remember asking my lawyer how to make sense of the divorce decree given that it is only applicable/enforceable in the United States and my children, aged 5 and 2, are in France! If I remember correctly, he basically told me that everything would have to be renegotiated in France, according to French law, if I ever moved to France. In addition to the divorce, I was suffering because I had suddenly lost my mother, aged 59, to cancer a year before. It took me nearly two years to bounce back and plan a move to France on my own. During this time, I flew to France 3-4 times a year to see my boys. I have never skipped paying child support. I did what I could to continue to be a part of their lives. When I moved to France, my ex was upset, claiming that I should have given her a heads up! From a French legal point of view, she did not have to pay taxes on the child support she received. I think it was because I was already paying taxes in the US. The second I moved to France, it affected her taxes. My net income is also lower in France than in the United States, so child support was adjusted accordingly. It was tough but throughout my ordeal, one thing I had going for me was that I already spoke French fluently. I am happy to report that my boys and I are doing great and were still a family!

3. The government gets a cut of child support payments. This has to be a big reason women get custody.
   Another issue: Get rid of welfare. Mothers are divorcing the fathers of their children and marrying the state.

4. There is no equality in Family Court.

5. I didnt have any of that that you described as remembering mt father. He waant there as he should habe been..sad sad reality, it was like that for me my brother and my sister. Same mom.& dad.

6. biggest problem is having kids out of wedlock

7. How about promoting family values again instead of all the individualism we see.

8. Lemme get this straight…so you’re telling me that fathers are ppl too?!?! Amazing!!

9. Powerful!

10. How about addressing the reasons the mothers don't want the fathers involved (neglect, abuse, etc.). Are murdered children really a result of being fatherless? Sounds like a false equivalency to me.

11. Everyone who grew up without a father, knows the importance of a father. ❤️‍🩹 I am healing that wound and it's clear to me that I'll do everything in my hands for my kids to have a dad in their lives (of course if that's his will too), I make this clarification because most of the time, fatherless kids exist because the man simply didn't want to take responsibility, the cases where a woman doesn't let the man know she's having his baby must be very rare. Anyways, it's beautiful to see the stories here of men being good fathers and claiming their rights to have an active role in their kids lives❤ Keep it like that. I hope mothers don't let resentment get in the way and deprive their children from having a loving dad near. That's despicable and your child will suffer A LOT in the present and in the future…therapy is expensive, don't f*ck up their finances like that lol 😂

12. It is extremely dangerous for society to take a man’s child. We all pay for it one way or another

13. she looks like Charlotte from Lucifer.
    Her message is amazing

14. Whatever the reason for divorce/splitting up is: you HAVE to put your ego aside and do what is best for the child. You have to realize that someone can be a horrible partner and still a great parent at the same time. Kids need to be loved by both of their parents. Never talk bad about your Ex (female or male) in front of your kids – even if that person does disappointing things – they’ll find out on their own – they don’t need you to protect them from it. Unless there is serious (physical or mental) abuse going on – there is no excuse to keep a child from their parent.

15. The world is set up to where a lot of women can’t RESIST the temptation to Emasculate a father in family court.

16. BEST I HAVE WATCHED
    THANK YOU

17. This is important but one sided. Look up statististics of how many fathers and husbands unalive their children and wives and then compare to the mothers and wives statistics. That explains why blindly granting custody to either parent might be dangerous and it's more dangerous (statistically) to blindly grant it to a father. Also, look up statistics on how many men fight for 50% custody to avoid child support and how many of them stay in their children's lives after 8 years (spoiler alert: not very many). If a man seeks 50% custody the court overwhelmingly rules in their favor. The problem is that many father's don't seek half or full custody and children stay with mothers by default.

18. I shared this video. I truly hope my wife watches this, we are currently getting divorced because of her cheating. She has kept me from my daughter since October of last year with zero contact.

19. I hope you can have this discours in France.

20. I hope there are father figures available out there to help those without

21. Blegh. Awful person.

22. The Data: Dad's are powerful!

23. So you're a champion of weaponized incompetence?

    Fathers are important and I believe strongly that their relationships with their children should be encouraged and maintained, but far too many men don't prioritize those relationships and the responsibilities that should be intrinsic but are all too easily neglected. That's where the real issue lies.

24. Man, this ted talk was no for me. It brought up alot of teajma my dad caused for me. Im glad she sees good dads out there, but mine wasnt one of them. I could go one for days about the abuse & neglect i suffered & saw inflicted on my siblings from him.

25. Somehow she missed the relationship between having an absent father an incarceration.

26. The YouTube videos about how some fathers play with their children!

27. While I was working in London on Westminster Abbey in the early 90s, I witnessed four amazing Fathers dressed as superheroes climb onto the roof of the houses of Parliament. They were the Fathers for Justice.

28. My daughter is almost two. I live in México and she lives in Argentina. One day before I arrived to visit her again, I learned my wife has been cheating on me. I'm concerned of how i will be able to handle the relationship with my daughter and have to deal with her at the same time, but I love my daughter more than anything in this world. I hope I find the strength to overcome this.

29. Wow, she is so right in everything she says, women are using the system when it comes to falsifying a child's father to collect some sort of child support, the laws should change so that women who are found guilty of falsifying a child birth father should be held accountable, I have heard about a lot men that are forced to pay child support for a child that isn't even his and some are even sent to prison, I say every child should be given a DNA test to prove that the child is his if not he should not pay a cent

30. My kid had been taken away from my country and against my wishes and kept in spain by his mother and granny. They know kid needs his father in his country but tyey do it on purpose ro deny his father and shoe him fake fathers who have no intention to raise him now kid cannot even speak my language or eat my food.

31. "My father" is telling. I refer to mine as that and that alone so it stands out to me.

    "Let me explain…." is tame compare to one of my "aunts" she never gave birth to a child but she is now a mum of 30 and that number is still growing.

32. Spent clost to $110,000 and 6yrs fight my ex in court cause she filed and lied about an assult. Oh, nothing happened to her. All that I could hope for was a dismissal and god willing i got that.

33. Well done, one sided talk about how divorce hurts men. And let’s forget about all the other reasons kids grow up without fathers.

34. My friend's ex-wife has a history of drug abuse, abused my friend emotionally for years, cost him tens of thousands in pointless additional court battles trying for full custody, cheated on him multiple times while they were married, and lacks stable employment. My friend on the other hand has a well paying job he works hard to keep, a caring and hardworking wife, 2 other children who love their sibling, owns a house, has always expressed to the courts and privately that he's ok with joint custody, and is a far more caring human being. He was originally only given 1/3 custody. The system needs to catch up with the times.

35. the PTSD flashbacks are nonstop!!!
    
    and they are horrific and severe.
    
    and then there's the rumination and the obsession…
    
    the rage and the grief.
    
    I'm going crazy in despair.
    
    I can no longer bear this pain.
    
    the darkness and terror and panic
    
    engulf me.

36. Honestly this just reinforced my understanding towards the courts that choose the all knowledgeable mother over the father that don't even know their children's eye or hair color even while standing next to them on a street interview.

37. So much for the 'Best country in the world's, well done America!

38. There are plenty of “father-less,” “mother-less,” and “parent-less” children whose parent(s) are still physically somewhere within the family house at least part time.

    Sometimes the sum of a father and a mother in the house equals far less than one single “parent.” Many kids simply raise themselves.

39. Luckily we in Europe have civilisation, socialism; most countries have at least 9 WEEKS OF PAID, MANDATORY AND INTRANSFERRABLE PATERNITY LEAVE.

    In the United States you sadly don't even have paid vacation, socialised universal health care, education.

    The US used to be the vanguard of the world in almost every social regard, with taxes up to 92% in 1953 but since the 1980's every single indicator, including dismembred families, is among the world highest.

40. What stereotypical assumptions about daughters and sons. Gag.

41. So now we're just gonna hurl cuss words in Tedx too?

42. false cases going on in INdia like Dowary, DV, Maintenance etc. etc. completely destruction of family system. Thanks to Feminism

43. I blame the government for these problems and they should be sued

44. This woman firms business cards needs to be in EVERY MANS POCKET

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